Winter Festival Kicks Off

"Alas, poor Yorick!
...A fellow of icicled juice, of most excellent frost...
...Where be your gelids now?"

 Winter was ushered in yesterday at The Backyard Outdoor Events Centre by a promising performance of Hamlet by The Royal Society Of Life-Size Theatrical Snowmen.

 Chaos ensued, however, when the performance was interrupted by a Cats musical performed by The Disproportionately Large Feline Actors Guild, due to a timetabling error.


 The resulting bloodbath ended what was a fragile truce between the two sworn enemies, who have been embroiled in a bitter feud for generations. It comes as a disappointing setback for the international peace process, which has been trying hard to foster a sense of goodwill between them both.

 Organisers admit that it has put a dampener on the planned festivities, but hope that the collaborative winter fun-run between Worsley's Home For Troubled Weiner Dogs and The National Postman's Collective will help bring the festival back on track.