Freedom Within The Form

A maladroit melange of melancholic malarkey and moilic malaise

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Location: Christchurch, New Zealand

I am by qualification a Mathematician and Biologist; by trade a Web Programmer; by interest a Philosopher; by nature a Fool; and by grace a Christian.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Ye Olde Utterance

 What extraordinary privilege it is, that one should glean utterances ancient from pages new! Yet from pages Yours I retreat – recognizing privilege yet possessing it not, even authority recognized yet fearing greater my own, whilst from pages my own I glean no reason nor rhyme, nor counsel nor comfort. And whilst remedy such deficit with mine quill I seek no longer, I undertake still such forgeries, to find only a remedy of whose depth is of paper itself.

 To mine eyes may my fingers delegate their energies, and to mine knees their task, for mine quill is as dry as its parchment. To ancient grace Yours I entreat – add to recognition possession, and bring forth such fear of You that of all else I would have as naught. With Your ink fill me, so that Your blood may wash all the more through my veins; my heart be all the more cleansed; and my mind all the more unclouded.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Obituarist

Ironic impasse
 ended by inference
Impelling ink
 expels indifference

Dirge draws up
 to dustbowl parchment
Deadbeat driver
 ushers disembarkment

Faltering feet
 and graven earth meet
Furrow-faced field
 increasingly bleak

Gritted gravity
 sheds tearing ballast
Ground-bound griever
 lamenting at last

[Description »]

Monday, June 09, 2008

Winter Festival Kicks Off


"Alas, poor Yorick!
...A fellow of icicled juice, of most excellent frost...
...Where be your gelids now?"


 Winter was ushered in yesterday at The Backyard Outdoor Events Centre by a promising performance of Hamlet by The Royal Society Of Life-Size Theatrical Snowmen.

 Chaos ensued, however, when the performance was interrupted by a Cats musical performed by The Disproportionately Large Feline Actors Guild, due to a timetabling error.


 The resulting bloodbath ended what was a fragile truce between the two sworn enemies, who have been embroiled in a bitter feud for generations. It comes as a disappointing setback for the international peace process, which has been trying hard to foster a sense of goodwill between them both.

 Organisers admit that it has put a dampener on the planned festivities, but hope that the collaborative winter fun-run between Worsley's Home For Troubled Weiner Dogs and The National Postman's Collective will help bring the festival back on track.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Keeping the Faith

 Tonight at my church (Hornby Presbyterian) we had our "Friday Forum", something which we hold every month or so, usually involving a guest speaker and/or discussion on a particular topic.

 Tonight's topic was "How to get a degree without losing your faith", in which we had several questions regarding the topic, each one to be briefly addressed by selected graduates from the church, followed by a brief general discussion per question. (It went particularly well by the way, with a good turnout and engaging dialogue - thanks particularly to Ross McKerras for organising it).

 I was tasked with addressing the question, "Have you encountered ideas that made you realise that you genuinely did need to modify your faith? / Are there legitimate ways that you have modified your faith?", and below is the response I gave.

 I thought it would be fair to post it here, seeing as it involves some of you who may read my blog, and would perhaps give an opportunity for response and discussion on how fair my observations are. At the very least it may help to give an indication on where I stand.

[View response (& notes) »]

Friday, May 23, 2008

Wretched Reflection

  Clumsy thumbs
   are clasping pencil,

  Slurring ink
   on scrappy paper,

  Paltry letters
   form puerile palaver…

  Wretched reflection;
   Pierces Soul Cleanly!

[Description »]

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Station

Running on empty
Through this dry backwater
And the station I’m at
Is fresh out of fuel

I can’t say I mind
It’s refreshingly honest
I’m one with the land
I’m fittingly small

Yet mindful of distance
Of home on horizon
Now am I approaching
Or going away?

In need of repairs
From grinding my gears
And this station I’m at
Is one of decay

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Encouragement for Enquiry


“The Incredulity of St. Thomas” by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, 1602


Caravaggio was a 16th/17th century Italian early Baroque painter. (You may have seen a documentary on TV a couple of nights ago about him.)

The above painting of his depicts the doubting disciple Thomas, examining Christ’s crucifixion wound, during Christ’s second post-resurrection appearance (see John 20:24-29). It was a remarkable and shocking piece at the time, and remains so, for a number of reasons.

(There is an excellent article here concerning it.)

I find great appeal in it, in no small part due to where I am at the moment. It is a wonderful picture of God coming to meet the one struggling with doubt, satisfying them to the depth of their enquiry, and to the benefit of others also.

The feature which strikes me most, is that not only has Christ appeared here to appease Thomas’s doubts, but he is actively involved in revealing the truth of himself to Thomas. This is represented by the drawing back of his robe with one hand, whilst taking Thomas’s arm with the other and guiding the grubby finger into the wound.

I am in a somewhat bedraggled state myself, not only in having realised the futility of (what I have come to realise as) my autonomous search for truth, but more generally (in my desire to have integrity) realising that my whole being – my actions and desires as well as thoughts – requires a dependence on an external and ultimate reference point/ under an external and ultimate authority. I am further bedraggled in my struggle both for and against such a thing, therein accentuating the necessity.

In realising the impossibility of the contrary (that is, that I may autonomously reach truth, and more generally, a true/correct state of being), it may be that I have glimpsed something of true truth (as opposed to merely believing). And though it may further seem contrary to what I have found, I have since come to increase in appreciation for the significance and tremendous value that is placed in the individual’s ability to choose and work toward a goal.

I find that I am perhaps like Thomas here, having now perceived what appears to be Christ, I am not only to seek to examine further, but to also seek his strength and guidance in such a task, as well as his specific self-disclosure to meet the goal of the enquiry, such that I may truly come to realise “the way, the truth, and the life”, and may similarly exclaim, “My Lord and my God!”